Relationships & Sexual Health

Healthy relationships between people are built around communication, connection, trust, and respect. While every relationship (sexual or otherwise) is different, it’s important to recognise what is healthy for you.

We are all unique, so you and your partner may have different expectations and needs in a relationship. Allowing ourselves to listen, learn, and be understanding of each other’s needs is a key part of building a healthy relationship.

Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship and is something that can be hard for us to have, particularly if we’ve had negative experiences with that person or other people in the past.

Try to be open and honest with your partner when talking about your feelings and needs in a relationship. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to them directly, perhaps speak to someone else (e.g. a friend, family member, or counsellor) about this.

If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, you can scroll down for more information and support, and find local services here.

Consent means giving your permission for things to happen in your relationship. Giving and respecting consent allows us to have healthy boundaries, mentally and physically. Consent is important to everyone, whether you’re dating, in a casual relationship, or have a long-term partner.

It’s important to be mindful of each other’s boundaries, as they may differ from our own. For example, you and your partner may have different sexual interests, and might be comfortable with some things but not others! By being clear about our boundaries and respecting other people’s, we can keep ourselves and our partner(s) safe.

YMCA WiSE (What is Sexual Exploitation) work across Brighton and Hove, Surrey and East Sussex to support children and young people to stay safe in their relationships. In this video, Youth Ambassadors Catt and Louisa explain consent, coercion, and the importance of communication.

Feeling safe in any relationship is important and you should always feel respected by any partner. Sometimes relationships become unhealthy or toxic in nature. Unhealthy relationships can be fuelled by jealousy, mistrust, or any unkind behaviour but they are never acceptable. They can also be an indication that the relationship is becoming abusive.

Abusive behaviour in relationships can include:

• Physical abuse (hitting, pushing, or any other physical act towards you that is unwanted)
• Emotional abuse (name-calling, gaslighting, manipulation)
• Financial abuse (stealing or controlling your money against your will) 
• Sexual abuse (doing things without your consent or pressuring you into sexual acts you're not comfortable with)

Here are some ways to connect, maintain trust, and stay respectful in long-distance relationships:

• Have a video call with a partner so you can see them face-to-face. You could try dressing up for the occasion, or doing a workout together!
• Have a watch party (e.g. on Netflix or Disney+) so you can experience the same TV show or film at the same time
• Play a game together – this could be an interactive quiz where you learn things about one another, or something where you can work as a team!
• Remember that your individual wellbeing is important to your relationship – you could practise self-care by keeping a diary, trying mindfulness exercises, or doing hobbies you enjoy
• Go on virtual dates together, such as doing an online art class, cooking the same meal, or going on a virtual museum tour!

Sex can be important for many of us, whether this is in a relationship, with casual partners, or ourselves! While sex can be a way to build intimacy and connection, it’s important to make sure we are looking after our mental and physical health at the same time.

As mentioned earlier in this module, consent is a key part of staying safe in our sexual relationships because it allows us to have a mutual understanding of each other’s expectations and boundaries. It’s also important to look after our mind and bodies by keeping on top of our sexual health and practising self-care. Read on to learn about ways to have fun while staying safe!

There are lots of ways you can maintain your sexual health, which is important whether you’re in a relationship or not. In this video, YMCA WiSE Youth Ambassador Louisa shares her tips for positive sex and looking after your sexual wellbeing.

You can find more information and advice about sexual health on the WiSE website and by reading on!

A key part of looking after our sexual wellbeing is sexual health, including protecting ourselves from sexually-transmitted infections (often referred to as STIs or STDs) and unwanted pregnancy.

There are lots of different types of contraception available and it’s important to find what works for you, which will depend on what is most suited to your body and needs. To find out more about your options, speak to your GP, your local sexual health service, or click here to find more information. You can also get emergency contraception (often called ‘the morning after pill’) from your GP, sexual health services, or your local pharmacy.

Condoms are the only form of contraception that can also protect you from STIs and can be used by many of us. If you’re aged 13-24, you can get free condoms, lube, and femidoms by using The C-Card Scheme – scroll down to find out how to access this!

If you need to find further help with your sexual health, there are lots of ways to access to support depending on your needs. If you discover you are pregnant and you’re unsure what to do, it’s important to seek help as soon as possible. Whatever your age, you can find support from your GP, local sexual health clinic, on the NHS website, or by ringing 111 (available 24/7, 365 days a year). A medical professional will help you explore your options and decide what is the right choice for you.

If you are living with a long-term sexually-transmitted infection, it can be helpful to seek support to help with your wellbeing. If you are living with HIV, you can find information, advice, workshops, and peer support groups through the Terrence Higgins Trust.